My dear Craig...
it has been five months since your father...
and my beloved sister...
died.
Surely, there is no time limit...
on grief...
and sorrow.
I know you have expressed misgivings...
about the steel business...
but perhaps this is the time...
to seek the comforts of your tradition.
You are young and particularly vulnerable...
now that your parents are dead.
Come work with me.
I have heard you are involved...
in some real estate venture.
Is this the time to divorce yourself from family?
To take up with unsavory strangers?
You are, after all, a Blake.
Please...
Iet me hear from you.
Fondest regards...
Uncle Albert.
I'll bet you 50 I can beat you to the meeting.
Double it for 100.
We don't want to keep that Blake boy waiting.
I'm in. We jumping reds, Jabo?
I see a piece of pelt I'd like to jump over here.
If I'm lying, I'm dying.
Look out, y'all, I'm hot as fire...
and I'm burning up Birmingham.
You're standing still, chub-chub.
Blink once, you're gonna miss me.
Now, boys, well, you can read 'em and weep...
'cause the Hueytown Flash has arrived.
Well, we're nearly home then.
Two more pieces of property...
we have the whole block sewed up.
What'd you finally get that tailor down to, Walter Jr.?
$35,000 on a refinance.
Like talking to a mule, that old man...
but he come to see the light.
That's fine as wine. How you coming, Hal?
Still working on it.
Now, Craig, this last piece of property...
Iooks like you'll have to buy it..
since you the only one left without his name on some paper.
Like you say, I'll just go on over yonder...
and make that boy an offer right down around his ankles.
Yeah, you do that, boy...
and if he don't buy it...
you move up around his knees.
Shit. We don't need to tell you nothing.
You'll charm that dude blind.
Isn't that right, fellas?
Gimme ten, Mr. Blake.
They made enough on that Pell City deal to buy Alabama.
We're lucky they let us in on this thing.
Lucky?
They're the lucky ones.
Now, look. Just keep it simple.
Just go down and buy the place.
The corporation buys it back, and we own the block.
We build the biggest office high-rise in the city.
I know how it works.
My great grandfather built this town...
by eating guys like that for breakfast.
Wasn't this your father's car?
Yeah. I figured it needed a little air.
Are you sure you're OK up there alone?
Yeah, I'm sure.
I'll see you at the club on Saturday.
I got the court for 10:00.
Good. See you there.
You'd better put your top up.
Welcome to the Olympic.
I'm Mary Tate Farnsworth, and--
Honey, I don't think you should hang upside down anymore.
Welcome to the Olympic. I'm Mary Tate--
Actually, I'm just here to look around.
Well, just take them steps.
Thank you.
You a businessman?
You got it.
- Hiya. I'm Franklin Coates. - Craig Blake.
- Show you around the place? - Sure.
Mr. Walker, keep leaning on that barrel there.
Just ease back on it. That's my man.
Right this way.
Now, this is the studio.
Over here, we got massage and rays.
Hey, Newton.
This way.
This pool is kept at 110 degrees at all times.
It's got herbs in it.
Kills crabs, does it?
Huh?
Oh, yeah.
Gain, reduce, or tone.
See, we're supposed to put you on a program.
Is the guy on the sign on a program?
Joe Santo?
Mr. Austria?
You can bet your ass he don't need no program.
Well, neither do l. What time did--
Excuse me, Mister...
- Blake. - Thor Erikson.
- How you do, Mr. Erikson? - Just call me Thor.
There's some builders and lifters...
who work out at 6:00 to 8:00 at night.
That's what I was trying to tell him, Thor.
I was explaining--
Mr. Erikson--
That's their time, now.
They're not your kind of folks.
Them boys are rough as a cob.
What line are you in, Mister...
Blake. I'm a businessman.
A man of decision. Real estate.
Relax there.
Get the most for the least. Know what I mean?
You look in pretty good shape.
I was taking a little look at your place here and...
I might could get excited about something like this.
How much do you want for it?
Turn around.
Dear Uncle Albert, I recognize that I am involved...
with unorthodox business people.
As you advised, I am proceeding cautiously.
Business causes tension.
But as you would expect...
confidently.
Sincerely, Craig.
Whoa, whoa. Hey, hey. You hold it right there.
- Right there on that spot. - Hey, it's all right.
He was up here a couple of days ago...
and Thor says it's OK.
Did you eat yet?
I had a little lunch.
What you trying to say?
Thor didn't tell me nothing about it.
Well, he told me.
It's better if you don't have nothing on your stomach.
Good.
Better not be no spy, say l!
Better not be no spy!
Better not be no spy, I say!
Newton, please.
What's this contest?
Mr. Universe next month.
Thor's been saving Joe up for it.
He don't want the wrong people seeing him...
or wouldn't nobody enter.
Are you his trainer?
I'm his grease man.
Oil him up before exhibition.
Oh. Well...
You call lifting them itty-bitty things working out?
I think the man is doing fine, just fine.
I've been watching him now for a while...
and he's really moving big.
He moves like he used to play hockey.
Hey, Franklin, ask him if he used to play hockey.
You play hockey?
Tell Batman it was lacrosse...
but I can see how he got confused.
Joe, you gonna be long?
Mary Tate and Anita are over at the club...
so why don't you all go ahead and...
I'll catch up with you later.
Listen, they got a pool table over there.
You play?
- Where's Joe at? - Still pumping iron.
Too bad. The band wanted him to sit in on a set tonight.
Let's don't have any trouble out of you, huh?
- Don't sweat it, Hayes. - Don't get on nobody.
See?
What else does this Santo guy do besides lift weights?
There ain't nothing Joe don't do.
Man bowls 200...
was near about an Olympic swimmer...
and before he come here from Austria...
he was world champion of curling.
You...
You know what that is?
He's quite a guy, isn't he?
Damn straight.
Corner.
Let me tell you something, buddy.
When Joe takes that title next month...
He's...
He's going to have done it all.
You got a hot stick, my man. Very hot.
Rack 'em up.
Let's hear it for the band!
Anita, now she comes from Chicago.
Don't flash those greenbacks. Excuse us.
She teaches down at the gym twice a week.
What she teach?
Excuse me, Romeo. Karate. Black belt.
I'm gonna say hello to my friend over here.
All right. I'll see you back at the table.
- Hey, hey, buddy! - Sorry.
What are y'all?
I mean, y'all are pretty big dudes.
You play football or what?
Yeah. We play for Auburn.
What do you play?
Scatback.
I figured you played something like that.
What's your name?
Blake. Buck Blake.
Yeah. Thanks, Blake.
"War eagle" now, you hear?
I hear you.
Don't get nervous. Joe wouldn't care.
You know something? You look like a swamp.
I've been meaning to tell you that.
- I look like a what? - A swamp.
With all that blond hair and eyes and stuff.
I really like the way you look...
except for that. What is that?
Looks like a little baby squirrel's tail.
Watch out. Don't get no poop on you, now.
Then last month, I was in Cozumel for sailfish...
and September, a bunch of us guys...
get together, go down to Mexico...
and shoot white-wing dove.
I personally can't see that, shooting birds.
It's cheaper than shooting craps and better than shooting people.
I can't see shooting doves.
My dentist had this freezer filled with doves.
I hate that.
There are so many of them down there...
that they eat up all the crops.
And as for the crops...
I personally feel whoever gets there first...
should eat 'em.
How come you told me you couldn't dance?
Couldn't dance?
Darling, I've been waltzing since I've been on solid food.
You see?
Excuse me, old buddy.
- We're still dancing. - Can I talk to you a minute?
Did you tell my buddy that you played ball at Auburn?
Come on, Craig, let's dance.
Yes, I did, but I was just kidding.
Well, you're a liar.
I watch every game they play. They ain't got no scatback.
And they ain't got nobody named Blake either.
You understand what I'm saying to you?
Hey, big fella, we don't want no hassle.
Then stay out of it.
We're just having a good time here.
You met my buddy Blake. He's having a good time.
Come on, now. Take it easy.
If I told you once, I told you a thousand times...
it ain't right. It just ain't right!
Goddamn it.
Goddamn it!
Excuse me.
How's it going?
It's gonna be all right.
Let me see. Come here.
You got hit.
Who are you?
Joe Santo.
Santo.
I'm sorry. I just came in here--
Hey, were you really curling champion?
That thing with the ice and the brooms?
Yep. Why don't you wash off?
I'm sure you'll be all right.
We'll wait for you outside, OK?
All right. Good.
Sorry I wasn't here to help.
Hey, Blake, is this house for sale or what?
No, not exactly. It's my parents' house.
They on vacation?
No. They're dead.
Then it's yours.
No, it's theirs.
If they're dead, it's got to be yours.
Shut up, you asshole.
Do you know that you have the most gorgeous collection...
of cut glass out there?
That's my grandmother you're looking at there.
That was her favorite chair.
Look, Mary...
that whole thing ought to be in a museum.
Hey, Craig!
Been looking for you. Lunch.
How you feeling?
Got up a little late.
I wish you'd wind your clock every once in a while.
I had to beat 'em with ol' Lester here.
- The big server. - Yes, sir. Yes, sir.
I assume you acquired that ear...
on one of your more peculiar pursuits of higher meaning?
That's right.
Don't y'all ever get tired of these damn club sandwiches?
I'm gonna order hash up here one day.
They wouldn't serve it to you.
Harold!
I want some red flannel hash, Harold.
Guess whose hands are over your eyes...
and win yourself a sweet surprise.
Amy, don't encourage him.
Golda Meir.
No, you big silly, but you get a kiss anyway.
Listen, dearies, I am having the awfulest time...
finding an authentic for my party this year.
Can't some of you young bucks help?
Like that one-man band guy that fell in his drum?
No. You know, anything authentic for the bridge room.
Craig, be a muffin and find something for me...
will you, honey?
You got the right man, Amy.
He knows every weirdo in town.
That's three horses.
What?
You can send me a check, Halsey.
You bet.
Wait up a sec. I'll walk out with you.
Don't bother.
I'll let you know when I've got it wrapped up.
You sure, now?
Eleven. Good. Come on, now.
Push it up. Stand it up. Twelve.
Twelve.
You should've had fifteen.
Them judges will read them quadriceps like road maps.
How's the promotion going?
Good. Good. Got 40 entries already.
Good.
Guys coming in from all over the country...
but there ain't a one of 'em gonna be able to touch you...
by the time we get through.
They talk about that Doug Stewart from Amarillo.
Well, Doug Stewart is gonna mess up his britches...
when he sees you.
Because with your body, my know-how...
we're going all the way.
Where's all the way?
Don't give me that mealy-mouthed crap, Santo.
A month from now...
you'll be rich as cream and feeling fine.
I feel fine already.
Why don't you put some weight on the bar, pussy?
Hey, man. Thor, here.
Are you here for a workout?
- Maybe. - Great.
Santo, come on. Let's go.
I was hoping you and l could talk a little business.
Yeah? What kind of business?
I was curious if you'd--
I ain't got no time for curiosity.
Besides, this is Saturday.
You want to see me, call me during business hours.
Hey. He's been drinking.
Blake, now...
Santo's got bicep femoris to think about.
Now, by God, you better not bother him.
Make the thighs burn.
Good.
You can't grow without burning.
It's the repetition that defines the muscle.
Do it faster. Get the blood into the legs.
Come on. Just keep the tension on the pecs.
Yes. Isn't it much harder?
I think we had something like this at school.
I'm not sure I still got the form down here.
Tell me if I'm doing this right. Is that it?
I never do that one.
Say...
what is this Batman routine of yours?
Is that for concentration or what?
Not really. I think it's funny.
It adds a little humor to the workouts.
You should have seen me last year.
I wore a frogman outfit.
Everybody was laughing.
Just keep right on talking, Santo.
Remember, they don't judge lip muscles.
They judge thighs, they judge legs...
they judge backs, but no lips.
I can't wait until this whole thing is over, man.
Be sure and turn them lights off before you leave.
Say, what is there, one Mr. Something after another?
How about galaxy? Is there a Mr. Galaxy?
Listen, I don't care about these titles.
But if I win this one, I could make enough money...
to pay Thor back all the debts I owe him.
What kind of debts?
He's the one who brought me over here from Austria.
He got me a working permit...
helped me with the visa, things like that.
Anyway, I could pay him back...
with the money I make from endorsements.
Endorsements.
That's like selling your name, isn't it?
Yeah, but it doesn't bother me.
Names don't mean any more to me than titles.
I've got some relatives who'd argue with you about that.
Terrible sign, isn't it?
No. I like it.
Good-bye, Mother.
- Whose old car's that? - I'll introduce you.
Joe Santo, Mary Tate Farnsworth...
Dorothy Stephens.
- Hi. Nice to meet you. - Hi. Right back at you, hon.
Had your breakf--I'm sorry!
Gosh, that was alive, isn't it?
Everybody smile.
All right. Come on, Bill.
Let's go down this way.
What was your father?
He was a sculptor and a teacher.
Excuse me for being so direct.
I've always heard that...
that...
people of your profession were...
Homosexual?
Uh-huh.
I can only speak for myself...
but if you want me to prove it...
- More fish? - No.
Do you know the Russian writer Turgenev?
He's so moving.
I just feel too much, Joe.
See, the Junior League--
Which, by the way, Craig, I'm no longer a member of--
The Junior League teaches you to...
to respect and to love all of God's little creatures.
Even this little thing here.
The boat's back. I'm gonna ski the course, Joe.
That's a wonderful idea. I think I'll go, too.
Why don't you stay here and keep me company?
I think I'm going, too. I'll see y'all later.
- What's the course? - Slalom, downriver.
- Mind if I come with you? - You know how?
I'll give it a try.
How'd you get so good?
I had to do something to get out of Prattville.
Did you ski professionally?
Skied Cypress Gardens last year. Best damn time I ever had.
You'll never get up on that. Use this one.
All right. Why'd you quit?
I didn't. I broke my ankle.
Wait, Mary Tate. Let me explain about Dorothy.
Hey, look. You don't have to worry about me.
I won't mess with your little lady.
That's not what I meant.
Then what did you mean?
Dorothy and l, we've been...
We've been friends for a long time. This is--
Hey, Swamp...
that's a real pretty house you live in.
I've been meaning to tell you that.
To hell with the course. Let's just ski.
Your friend Buell, he taught me a lovely song.
Y'all want to hear my song?
Oh, God. What a song.
Oh
Oh, my number's one
And the fun has just begun
Roll me over, lay me down
Do it again
Roll me over in the clover
I'm not getting out of the car. I had too good of a time.
Me, too. Thank you, Joe.
What a lovely day.
Craig, do you mind taking Mary Tate home?
Uh... no.
Good night, honey.
Get a good night's rest.
Well, what about her foot?
Why don't you put the top up? It's getting chilly.
Joe, thanks a lot.
Oh, Craig.
Dorothy, I'll see you tomorrow.
Isn't that what they call pimping?
There's no telling where you're taking me now.
I'll take you to the Dobbs House...
to get us some eggs and some coffee.
Sure. Sure.
Well, the Dobbs House is not where I want to go.
Mary Tate?
How's that foot of yours?
It's OK.
Let me take a look at it.
Does this hurt here when I do that?
A little.
Here, relax your foot.
Did you know every part of the foot...
corresponds to a part of the body?
Did you know that?
Here's your spine right here.
Feel that?
And your lungs over here.
And here's your liver.
You may not be able to feel this, but that's it.
That's your liver.
Where's my mouth?
It's right here.
Hey...
you lied to me.
What?
You told me you was a businessman.
Shoot. You ain't no businessman.
You look like some kind of white hunter to me.
Oh, those.
You really like the way you look, huh?
That's about all I've got to show for the last two years.
Those were all new experiences.
I just hung those pictures up there...
to remember what getting them was like.
Oh.
You understand, don't you?
I think I can handle it.
Excuse me, sir.
Oh, no. William, it's all right.
This is Mary Tate Farnsworth.
How about some breakfast?
In bed, sir?
Well, no, we'll have it in the dining room for a change.
Yes, sir.
What's the deal between you and Joe?
There ain't no deal. What does that mean?
I kind of got the impression he set this whole thing up.
Oh, you think so.
Well, nobody sets me up.
Breakfast is ready, Mr. Blake!
Joe and I lived together once, that's all.
- No brothers? - Nope.
- No sisters? - No.
Cousins?
I've got 137 cousins.
Where do they all fit at Christmas time?
They all live around here, up in the hill here.
Downtown we call this the mountain.
I know.
How'd your folks die?
They were on their way to North Carolina...
in my father's plane.
Pilot flew into a mountain in the fog.
I was camped up on Pyramid Peak...
at the time in the Rockies.
They were dead for two weeks...
before my uncle finally located me.
And then I moved in here in November.
How come you need such a big place?
Well, I don't.
It's... it's just that...
it's been in the family for so long...
And you don't know what to do with it, do you?
No.
William, I'm sorry.
It was a mistake. Everything's fine.
The biscuits still warm, sir?
Everything's fine.
Listen, he's working on it.
Now, that much I know.
But he hasn't actually bought it yet, huh?
I don't know. I haven't seen him in a couple of days.
He might've been out of town.
It's been ten days, see...
and we got this architect over in Atlanta...
keeps billing us...
just like he don't know who Craig Blake is.
Now, all of us know...
Ol' Craig is slicker than snot on a doorknob.
But if he's having any trouble with that dude...
you tell him.
If that's what the problem is...
we could help out some way.
Yeah, I'll tell him.
You do that, Hal.
Deal up there, Walter Jr.
Five-card stud.
Same as what we were playing. I was winning.
I'm anted up. My red's right there.
Give me a good hand, will you, Walt Jr.?
I'm tired of losing.
You didn't eat your fortune cookie.
I never read my fortune cookies.
Give it to me, then, I want it.
No. It's mine. I save them. Don't.
I have a whole trunkful of Chinese fortune cookies at home.
When I'm old, one day I'm gonna open them all up...
and see how my life turned out.
Hey, Swamp...
Baby, come here.
Come over here.
Look at that picture...
on the second floor, right there in the middle.
- You like that? - Yeah, I do.
Just wait right there, sugar.
What you mean, wait?
Hello?
Hey, friend...
what do you call that action?
Trying to take a painting off a wall.
I'd tend to call it stealing.
It's not stolen yet.
What did you do, rivet it on here?
I can't get security. Damn switchboard's closed.
You're working late, aren't you?
There we go.
Who the hell are you, anyway?
You can't be a burglar.
There's something familiar about your face.
I am, too, a burglar.
Hell, no, you're not. Hey!
You're one of the Blakes. It just came to me.
I've seen your picture a hundred times...
in the social pages.
I even had a date with your cousin Victoria once.
I'm Fred Kroop.
Fred Kroop?
No, you got the wrong fella.
Hey!
You got to sign out.
I never did sign in.
You can't be here unless you signed in.
Now, sign out.
Look, like I told you, I forgot to sign in.
Where'd you get that picture?
From a fella named Kroop.
Look, if it's that important to you...
I'll sign in and out at the same time, how's that?
What you'll do is come with me up to Mr. Kroop's office.
Something ain't right here.
I've got an appointment to make.
Something definitely ain't right.
All right, let's make this quick.
Hey!
You are crazy. You're absolutely crazy.
Some flowers for m'lady.
Let's get out of here.
It's sunflowers. I thought it was a lion.
You'd never, ever, ever get away with this...
in Prattville, I'll tell you that right now.
- Be very cool. - Never.
You know why?
Because my daddy was sheriff, that's why.
Let's get out of here. Come on. Come on.
Wait, you don't even like this thing?
Sir, take this to the nearest museum...
will you please? Thank you very much.
Did you see what that crazy son of a bitch gave me, huh?
Well, I'll take it.
OK, square the shoulders...
keep it tight down.
Now, shoulders back...
Keep the hip inside...
Tie the belt. Good girl.
OK, shoulders...
Down. Get down further. Get down further.
OK, on defense...
70%of the weight is in the back.
OK, ladies, let me show it to you again, OK?
All right, let's try it again.
Line up.
Terrific, terrific.
Pathetic. Take a break.
Say the precepts.
Ding-a-ling.
I don't know if it's me, them, or I'm a bad teacher.
They can't even get position one after three months of class.
But when they do get it, look out.
They'll wipe out Birmingham and everybody in it.
- Mrs. Clyde? - Yeah.
She had an argument with her husband...
about who's gonna take the child to school.
So she chops him one right in his private area.
Now they all want black belts.
Pretty soon they'll have to invent a new color.
Gold, maybe or... pink.
How are things on the mountain?
Oh, Anita, we're having the best time.
You know what we do? We go outside--
Good. I'm glad somebody's life is terrific.
Very nice, Mrs. Clyde, very nice.
Thank you.
Ladies, let's see if we can do as well as last time.
Here are your supplies you asked for.
Goddamn it, Newton!
How many times I have to tell you...
knock before you come in here.
Damn it, I was doing my pushups.
All right, Joe, can you handle a little more weight?
Here I come. Open up!
Ain't he wonderful? Don't you just love him?
Joe, when are you gonna take that mask off?
Oh, Joe...
I missed you.
There's my man.
How you been, Hal?
Fine, Craig, fine.
You expecting buffalo up this way, or what?
No. Just a little maintenance.
Come on in.
You're looking good, Hal.
You're looking all right yourself, Craig.
How are you?
Well, I've been busy. Pretty busy.
Some of us have got to earn a living, you know?
Why are you eating that carrot like that?
It's good for your jaw muscles.
I eat ten of these little suckers a day.
- Here, try it. - No, hey--
- Craig, here. - It's healthy for you.
No... Iook, Craig, what the hell is going on?
Jabo and those guys won't wait forever, you know.
It's been almost two weeks.
You don't come to meetings--
I've been down there. He doesn't want to sell.
Oh, great.
Besides, I'm not too interested in this deal anymore.
You're not too interested.
Listen, buddy, You better get interested...
because you got my tail in a crack down there.
Don't you know what kind of guys these are?
I know--
They'll have our legs broken or something.
What the hell am I gonna tell them?
Tell 'em everything is fine as wine, Hal.
I don't give a damn what you tell 'em.
What's all the fussing about in here?
Mary Tate Farnsworth, Hal Foss.
How are you?
Everything's fine, baby.
We're just doing a little business here.
Why don't you go take a bath?
Well, what kind of business?
Go and take your bath, will you please?
OK, Craig, now I understand...
but listen, Craig...
this whole thing is too big a deal...
for you to blow over a little tail...
even if it does look like that one.
Ease off, Hal.
Come on. Hey, don't you think...
you're taking this attraction of yours...
to other types of people too far?
Ease off, mother.
Come on, man, take a look at yourself.
Stop it.
Look, you're up here in your parents' house...
you're letting people down on deals...
while you whoremonger around with broads--
I ought to kick your ass for that, boy.
Listen to me, damn it.
I'm telling you as a friend, Craig...
you have got to get yourself on track.
- Ka-ra-te! - Grow up, will you?
I could take your eye out...
Iike popping an olive out of a bottle, boy.
Kill your ass deader than a snapper.
You're pitiful, you know that?
You are really pitiful.
Everything OK down there?
Yeah.
Who was he, anyway?
Ohh... just a friend.
Why don't ol' William answer that phone?
He's hard of hearing.
Forget it. I know who it is, anyway.
One thing I can't stand is a phone that don't quit ringing.
Listen, Mary...
do you think Thor would ever sell the spa?
No. He still thinks it's gonna make him rich.
Hoop looks better on me, doesn't it?
Yeah.
It doesn't look like he's doing much business down there.
You know, the first thing...
The first thing that...
people give up during a recession...
is their membership in clubs like that.
I'm sorry. My dance card's completely filled.
You know, I've always wondered...
how you ladies get out of these things.
My dance card just emptied.
No!
William. Get up.
William...
What are you doing?
I'm quitting, that's what I'm doing.
You aren't serious, are you?
Yes, sir, I'm serious.
And I'd like to tell you something.
Your grandmama...
your grandmama, bless her soul...
if she could see what you're doing down here...
in her living room where she entertained...
quality-born ladies and gentlemen...
she'd come out of that picture on the wall...
and drive a butcher knife through your heart...
and I would help her! Disgrace!
What's the matter with him?
William...
William.
You been with us for 52 years.
Yes, sir.
Fifty-two long, good years.
But no more.
Come on, Willie.
And I'm taking everything that belongs to me.
Your grandmama left me a lot of stuff in her will.
She left me this here, too.
Don't worry, honey.
I'll be back to get you...
and I'm gonna take your poor blind eyes outta here.
You hear? I'll be back.
Dear Craig...
traditionally, your Uncle Henry has been...
the Blake family's most notable black sheep.
You seem to be coming up fast on the outside.
I'll be returning from South Africa...
in time to attend Amy Walterson's party.
I assume you'll be there.
Fondest regards, Uncle Albert.
Come on. Let's go.
Still don't feel like telling me where you're taking me?
Relax.
Hey, Joe! By doggies!
I haven't seen you in a month of Sundays.
I wasn't expecting you down here now.
That's my friend, Craig Blake. This is Tom Haley.
- How do you do, Mr. Haley? - I'm glad to know you.
Pleased to meet you. My pleasure.
Why don't you go on around where they're tuning up...
and we'll be around there in a little bit.
Hey, son. Where you from?
Birmingham.
Birmingham? Oh, man.
They don't even whistle down there anymore.
You know what that is you're listening at?
No, sir, I can't really say that I do.
That's true stick fiddling.
When you play it on a stand or off the music...
it's not called stick fiddling.
It's called a violin.
Now, Joe there, when he first come out...
he asked if he could look on...
and see how he's using that bow now?
That's not just looking on.
Real authentic, huh?
I reckon you could call it that if you want to.
Oh, yes, sir.
You are full of surprises, I tell you.
- That's what life is all about. - I don't know what you are.
I think I wanted to show off today, that's all.
You fellas are fantastic.
I love that.
You realize I had absolutely no intention--
Hey, that's cool.
No, but do you really--
I've never seen her happier.
It's terrific.
I've heard about this stuff all my life.
Kind of grows on you, doesn't it?
Yeah. But it's like a lot of good things.
Can get too much of it in a hurry.
Better be careful.
I have been careful all my life.
Yes. Come.
See, Anita, every time anything's bothering you...
what you want to do is sweat.
Now what's this? The door's unlocked.
It's just Thor upstairs balling a goat or something.
Hey! Who in the hell are you?!
Who the hell are you?
Just what are you doing?
I'm just fixing this air conditioner up here.
Uh-huh. Who asked you?
Murray! Bones! Y'all get down here!
You watch him, Anita.
Looks like we got company.
Yeah, you do.
Is it a cop?
You're gonna wish I was.
Who the hell are you guys?
You sure don't look like no cop.
Watch him!
Get him, Murray! Get him!
Anita! Hit the lights!
Gonna eat you up, boy.
Get the goddamn lights!
Look at what we got here. Our little buddy from the club.
What the hell you guys doing this for anyway?
Shut up.
Oh, yeah.
When I took this job, it was for money...
but now, I'm gonna get me some real pleasure.
You hurt her downstairs, and you're d--
Well, I think I better be getting on, little lady.
Now, you be good, you hear?
Hotshot pool player, huh?
Well, let's see how good you are.
Left ball in the side pocket.
Y'all watch out. She's Jap or something.
Jap my ass.
Get out of the door, lady.
We don't want to hurt no lady.
Franklin! Are you all right?
Jabo didn't say nothing about no karate!
Customers can't use the place.
If I don't get it fixed right now...
they're gonna sue class action.
Damn it! I can't even afford to stage the contest now.
And that's gonna break Joe's heart.
How much are the damages?
You see, these people down here...
Mary Tate, Franklin, Newton...
they're like my own children.
I helped every one--
Thor, how much are the damages?
What with the air conditioning and all...
it comes to 5,000.
- 5,000? - To get it fixed right.
Why are you so interested in all of this, Blake?
Well, I was thinking...
If I could help you out, I'd lend you the money.
You wouldn't happen to know nothing about...
who them skunks were, would you?
Jesus--
What do you want for the loan?
An l. O.U.
Look, do you want the money or not?
Blake, you ol' son of a gun.
Me and you's just alike, ain't we?
We just need to help people.
Have a sip.
Swamp?
I forgot to tell you.
William came by today...
and he took that old piece of armor...
and he took your horse, too.
Said you owed it to him.
Bath's ready.
Not now, Mary Tate, OK?
You sure?
Yeah, I'm sure!
What do you want to do then?
I want to sit in the goddamn chair...
is what I want to do!
OK!
Swamp...
all you gotta do is just sit there.
Just be.
Mary...
I love you.
Great.
Do me a favor, baby? Carry my compact for me?
- Can't, doll. - How come? You got pockets.
It'll bulge, damn it. Carry it yourself.
Well, I didn't want to take my pocketbook...
but that's OK. I won't take it.
- I don't need it. - Yeah, right.
Oh, gosh, I hope Joe does good.
He's gonna do fine.
He plays the fiddle, doesn't he?
I'm so excited.
Well, how do I look?
Oh, shoot, my clips.
You look beautiful.
- Do l? - Yeah.
Do I really?
Are you kidding, baby? You look fantastic.
You don't look bad yourself.
Don't you worry. This is gonna be fun for us.
Come on, let's go. We're late.
- All right. - Come on!
Hi, Craig.
How you doing? Good to see you.
Victoria, look at you. Don't you look lovely?
Craig, it's so good to see you. I haven't seen you in weeks.
- Where have you been? - I've been all over.
Victoria, I want you to meet Mary Tate Farnsworth.
- Hello. How are you? - Hi. I'm fine.
Will you excuse us? I see my man over there.
Of course. Good to have seen you again.
See you later. Bye-bye. Oh, watch it.
- Sorry. - Sorry.
Boy, you sure got some peaked-looking relatives.
Hey, partner.
Where'd you get these duds?
Rented them. Guaranteed authentic.
Well, you look really sharp.
Look at these people.
Now, this is what you call class.
How are you, Mary Tate?
Excuse me. I got a relative to say hi to.
I'll be right back.
Uncle Albert. Good evening, sir.
What's the matter with you, baby?
Well, don't you think this dress is a little bit out of place?
So what if it is? It doesn't matter to me.
Least I don't look like Buffalo Bill.
Is my dress really all right?
Sweetheart, I told you...
your dress just looks pretty unusual.
You look lovely. You both look fine.
Craig! Craig, darling!
How are you?
Here's our hostess. Amy, give us a kiss.
Craigie.
Why, Mr. Santo, I just want to tell you how delighted I am...
that you and your paramour could join us this evening.
And, Craig, you were just a perfect muffin to get him here.
- Me and my what? - Your little friend here.
Miss Farnsworth is Craig's little friend, Mrs. Waterson.
In the interest of clarity, Amy.
I see.
He has extraordinary musculature.
Yeah, it really takes a hell of a lot of dedication...
to work out like that.
Thank you.
In a couple of weeks he's gonna be the new Mr. Universe.
Why don't y'all come and meet him?
I think you'll enjoy that.
Yeah. I'd like that.
Joe, you got a second?
I want you to meet some fans of yours here.
Richard Packman, Mr. Joe Santo.
Now, easy, big fella.
He got my drinking hand.
He's a big'un, isn't he?
Is that young lady your latest?
Well, she's really more a friend of Joe Santo's.
Yes?
Well, a friend of mine and his.
I see.
Craig...
Yes, Uncle Albert?
What happens to body builders when they get old?
They die.
This little gal here-- I've known her since I was 11.
She's the only lady in this whole club...
ever to work her way into a men's doubles game... and win.
Zoe, this is--
Let me introduce myself, Craig.
That's a marvelous idea.
All right. I'll see you later.
Who's that? How come I don't get to meet her?
- You'll meet her later. - Don't pull my arm.
Who's buying the bourbon here?
I'm the guilty party.
Come on. I'll show you around this place.
Say, what do y'all think of my buddy?
Leave it to ol' Craig here.
Amy asked him to come up with a musical act...
and he comes up with a freak.
- Nice work, Craig. - What'd he say?
Well...
easy on the names, huh, Halsey?
Hello, everybody.
Look who's here. Dorothy.
I just saw Joe outside.
He's a man of so many talents.
You remember Mary Tate.
Of course I remember Mary Tate--
the little water ski girl.
I want a word with you, buddy.
- You do? - Yes, I do. Right now.
- Craig-- - Wait for me.
Just talk to Dorothy.
Chub, I want a bourbon here.
When did you turn vandal anyway?
Now, wait now. I didn't have anything to do with that...
and you know it, but I warned you.
Those guys are a natural force.
What did you expect?
What?
Well, that did it.
I'm through, you hear?
Fine. That's just fine.
You just back out and leave me to pick up all the pieces...
and all my money tied up in some two-bit jewelry store.
You can't get out now.
I can get out whenever I feel.
You have no concern for obligations.
- You have-- - Obligations?
Yes, obligations.
To what? To busting up the spa?
You owe this to me. You owe it to yourself.
Don't you understand that? What am I supposed to do?
I understand that you got yourself mixed up...
with a bunch of thieves, buddy.
Easy, boys. Easy.
Hey, easy.
Hey, give me a drink here, will you, chub?
Hey, suavey, there's supposed to be a show.
It's gonna start here in a minute.
Now, you'd better go pry that big fella away from Zoe...
or there ain't gonna be no show.
There's gonna be a show, all right--
Mr. Universe on the violin.
- Hey, does he take requests? - Will he take his shirt off?
Will he show us his tits?
What the hell's the matter with you?
He could crush you like an eggshell, Halsey.
You are sick!
Now, who do you think you're messing with?
I am messing with a pencil-neck midget, I believe.
Hit me if you're gonna hit me, boy, come on.
Wait a minute! This is between Craig and me!
Shut up!
Come on! Cool it!
- He's gone. - Get outta here!
Yeah.
Listen, let's get us a drink...
and then we'll have us some damn entertainment.
Good to see you.
Joe, when you play, you ought to be up here, up front...
and you fellas just kind of...
That's it. That looks good.
Why don't you let us take care of this...
and you look after Mary Tate?
OK.
Too much alcohol.
Mary Tate?
Who's that you're with?
Lester, how's everything going?
Well, hello, suavey.
I was just telling Mary Tate here how fine everything is.
Except those damn Jap tools.
They are killing us, Craig. They're cheaper than ours...
but they do not have the life in them.
They don't have the tensile strength--
- Mary Tate, let's go. - They got nothing.
- Joe's playing inside. - Well, I'm playing outside.
Glad everything's fine, Lester.
Fine? It's a hell of a lot better than fine.
Lester, let me see your lighter again, honey, will you?
Which pocket's it in, honey?
Look at this. Read that.
"Zero defects."
Zero defects.
Well, this boy Lester here, you know...
he ain't got a goddamned one.
And you know what else? There's only five other men...
in the entire state with that pin.
Just five, huh, Lester?
Well, it's for my factory, not just for me.
That's just terrific, Lester.
Isn't that terrific?
All right! All right!
Thank you.
Thank you, indeed!
Thank me. Thank you.
Everybody having a good time?
- Yes! - Good, good!
What? I can't stand that racket.
Turn to page 93 in the green hymnals.
Sing now!
You dance divinely.
Come on, everybody.
Let's hear it...
for the Muscle Beach Symphony Orchestra!
Sorry, Tom.
Sorry, fellas. Sorry, guys.
We'll get together again soon.
OK.
That's it for tonight, folks.
Thank you.
Hey, Craig! Come out and--
Would you give this check back to our hostess, please?
- You can't quit now. - I'll tell you what...
Come on. Let's give him a standing ovulation.
He deserves it.
Hey, hold on there a minute now.
You wouldn't want to have an argument now, would you?
Hey, it's done.
- It's done? - It's done.
- What'd you do to him? - Kiss off. What do you care?
Put your hand down his pants?
You've been ugly with me all night. All night!
I talked dirty to him.
He wanted to be sexy, only he didn't know how.
These people...
Come on. We're going in to see Joe.
I don't want to go back in there.
All right, we can go home, and you can talk dirty to me.
You bring me here. You ignore me all night.
You act like somebody I don't even know.
You go back in there and watch Joe!
Lester, here's your lighter.
Stay out of this. She's had too much to drink.
You stay out of it! I have not!
You have been acting the fool all night, Craig Blake.
I'm through with you.
You're the one who's overdone the drinking, boy!
Zero defects.
- Yeah, zero defects-- - Bullshit!
- Do you know where Joe is? - Take it easy, will you?
Go away.
Lady, do you know where Joe went?
What? Your friend? I'm afraid your friend left.
He wouldn't do that without saying good-bye.
Come on now. Calm down.
Where'd he go, damn it!
He left!
Craig, this young person is disturbing my party.
Seriously disturbing my party.
I know. We're leaving right now, Amy.
- We're going. OK. - Thank you very much.
Just a little excitement.
Don't worry about it. I've seen it happen...
in service clubs all over the world.
That shower makes me feel so much better.
How you feeling, baby?
I'm leaving.
Baby, that was your first party like that.
Now, you're bound to be a little edgy.
I did it for them. I wanted them to meet him...
And I wanted them to meet you.
Because you're so real!
You know?
You're so different.
Baby--
Don't touch me.
I was proud of you. Now, can't you see that?
All these pictures here on the wall...
these experiences you said you had.
You don't want me.
You want another trophy for your wall...
Baby, now don't go flying off at the handle.
And I'm not one of 'em.
Mary Tate!
I loved you, Craig!
Mary--
I really loved you!
Can't we even talk about this?
Now wait! Wait a minute!
Where are you going?
You don't even have all your stuff!
Stay out of my way. I don't want to hurt you!
Baby!
Mary Tate!
I need you!
Baby, I need you!
Mary Tate!
Your mother's brother Henry had this pet goat as a child.
He never got over it.
When he got out of college...
and it was time for him to go into the business...
Henry wouldn't have any of it.
All he wanted to do was to be around goats.
So, your grandfather invited him to leave home...
and Henry eventually wound up in Jamaica.
He started that goat farm down there with four animals.
You know what it is now.
Baa baa baa baa-- all over the place.
Now, the point is that to make...
anything meaningful out of a life...
it really doesn't matter what you do...
only that you do something...
and do it unsparingly.
Look...
Uncle Albert...
I appreciate this visit and the bits of family history.
I'm just a little strung out now.
Is that what you call it?
Craig...
why don't you shit or get off the pot?
I suppose you're right.
What do you look at?
Squirrels.
I never had a goat as a child.
50" chest. 19" arm.
281/2" waist. Medium height class.
Next.
Dave Drew. 5'10". 210 pounds.
49" chest. 19" arm. 30" waist.
You entering as a medium or a tall?
What's this guy Santo going in?
Tall.
Put me in the medium.
Smart choice. Next.
Hey, where's your boy? You hiding him out or what?
He's cooling out down on some island...
and you're gonna see him sooner than you want to there, Zwick.
How about a picture? You got a picture of the guy?
Hey, looks like you been hitting...
them traps pretty hard there, Stewart.
Not now, Laverne.
Hey, what the hell kind of language is that?
It's a language he invented.
He's my little brother. He's a genius.
We talk that way to keep things private.
It gives me the creeps.
He gives me the creeps.
Besides, I like the way...
you're always cultivating interesting new people.
I thought they were nice. I really did.
And I can certainly understand your attraction...
to that little country girl.
She was sweet.
You want some iced tea?
Craig, I'm so glad you came.
I knew you'd get over all that silliness.
You look like your old self again.
Can we go to Anniston this weekend?
Tootie and Charles have some English friends in town...
and Becky Farr's driving in from Nashville.
Don't you understand? She's not coming in.
Why? Just because she split the blanket...
with that pretty boy Blake?
Now, you tell her I'll take care of her.
You know how I feel about Mary Tate.
Sure, I do.
Thor, there's a guy downstairs. Says he wants to talk to you.
I'm busy!
He ain't here to take out no membership.
This guy's a dude. Said he's got a business proposition for you.
I'll be down in a minute.
How come Joe ain't back? Tomorrow's the contest.
He'll be back. I talked to him last night.
Run on over to the auditorium and check out the lights.
I don't want nothing to go wrong, do you hear me?
Do I look deaf?
- Newton? - Yeah!
You see this here money?
Sit down, right here in my chair.
Keep your hands on that shoebox and your eye on that door...
and don't you move till I get back. Do you understand?
When Joe wins this prize money...
there's a big bonus in it for you.
What can I do for you?
Mr. Erikson.
Jabo, your license number 67163?
- 64. - 64.
Say, this guy's here on business from Cleveland, say.
Poor bastard missed a connection in Atlanta...
been traveling all day long...
and he checks into this place around 9:00 at night.
He's tired. He don't feel good. Know what I mean?
So what's he gonna do? I'll tell you what.
He don't know how to get him no ass in Birmingham...
so what's he gonna do?
He's gonna head for a parlor every time. You know that.
Get him a little bit of rub-a-dub-dub...
and who knows what-all? Now, ain't I right?
You better believe it, boy.
Now see, we picked you out Of over a hundred fellas...
to run this operation 'cause you got class.
Don't bother. It's only gonna ring once.
All you gotta do is sell your little business...
to our good buddy Craig Blake...
and then we're gonna set you up...
as the massage parlor king of Alabama.
Craig Blake?
You boys gonna do business with that little fleabite?
You going broke.
Now, listen. I appreciate your offer...
but I gotta have some time to think about it.
Here are the ladies.
- Hi. - Hello, hello.
I thought you might like to meet some of the ladies...
who might be working for you. Audition them, you might say.
What's fun for two... is more for four.
I know you're jiving.
Look, why don't you hold on for a minute?
Maybe we oughta show these girls...
some exercises we do around here.
Let's kind of work into this.
Girls... Flower, Mae Ruth...
I want to tell you...
that there ain't no common ordinary nigra.
There is Wamba.
Jungle bomb. Honeypot.
Come on, y'all. Let's get naked!
Jabo said to treat these boys right.
Now we'd better do it.
Yeah, but if we--
Now I don't mind learning about lifting them weights and all...
but I sure as hell gonna have my privacy.
And Flower, too.
That's right,'cause me and Wamba want to be alone.
But you're not gonna whip me...
with that thing, are you, honey?
No. Who in the hell is Wamba?
Ain't she something else, man?
Hey, and I want to know...
y'all are having a good time in there now, by God.
Warm her up. Go on!
I might come in and try her out myself a little later.
Go on!
You know, I was telling Mae Ruth...
I never had no nigra date before.
You want me to get naked?
Sure. Sure. Get naked if you want to.
Don't take your pants off!
Keep your pants on.
Lay down on your stomach.
Face down. Face down.
Hey, what are you gonna do with that thing?
Trust me.
Isn't this fun?
OK now, graymeat...
what you thought you was gonna get...
you could get from anybody crazy enough...
to fool with your worthless behind.
There. But I'm giving you something you can't find...
nowhere else.
Now where'd you get these things from?
The mail order house?
Who's been taking care of this skin of yours, child?
No color.
You know, I was an acrobat when I was a little girl.
I got real good.
Mama finally took me into town and gave me lessons.
So I'll tell you something.
It hasn't hurt me much in my professional life.
There. Now see, we can do this here all night...
right on up until he pass out in there.
I'm gonna throw 300 pounds of iron...
through that door if you don't open it up.
Hold it. I gotta get up.
She's good.
And you'd better keep your mouth shut, you hear?
Not a word.
I'm coming through.
We've been going to town.
Wamba!
Where's that electrical massager?
Down at the bottom.
I had to tie her up as soon as she come in here.
I'm gonna hang this night up on the wall and frame it!
By God.
Her friend taught me tricks you wouldn't believe.
This nigra's trying to kill me.
Old tricks. New tricks.
I'm coming through. Hike!
I'm running a little late. I think I'll just grab a taxi.
I'll drive you over. I'd like to see...
that pageant or whatever it is.
I don't think it would interest you.
Thanks for the trip.
That's all? Just thanks?
That's all I have.
The plane leaves again tomorrow, lovey.
Come on, come on out here.
Now, cut that out now.
Now, I can't deny that you're underpaid.
Here, gimme.
$20 for you, and $20 for you.
Come on, let's get out of here. Come on.
Bonus money.
Now, you girls are lucky.
I've seen Thor keep girls up here three or four days...
before he even think about passing out. Come on, girls.
Our next contestant in the short class:
it's the great Sardinian warrior--
Franco Orsini!
Hey, which way is backstage?
Backstage? This way.
All right, mediums, let's go! Hey, we got any mediums in here?
Come on, line up.
Hey, any of you fellas seen Joe Santo?
Hey, George, get out there.
I told you. Come on. Come on.
Are you the stage manager?
Hey, Leroy, I told you five minutes.
Do you know where Joe Santo is?
He's not a medium!
Hey, you're number three. Get out there.
I don't know. Number two.
Hey, asshole.
How many poses we got to do-- seven or eight?
Eight poses.
Any of you see Joe Santo around?
Yes. Try next door.
Thank you.
What do you mean mediums? We need five more minutes.
Hey, Joe.
Do the four steps. You know, one knee, it should do it.
How are you?
Glad to see you.
And don't forget, keep tensing the thighs.
Did you have a good time with Zoe?
Fine. All right.
Think you'll see her again?
Nope.
Why not?
I don't like being too comfortable.
Once you get used to it, It's hard to give up.
I'd rather stay hungry.
Hey, Santo. When are you gonna show me what you got?
Terrific, Doug.
Are you going to do that on stage?
You'll see when we get out there.
Your peanuts, Joe.
Hey, Franklin.
Is it authentic enough for you back here?
What's on your mind?
That's why I came over here to talk to you--
Moe Zwick, rhymes with quick.
That's my boy over there.
Laverne, there's oil on the floor.
Look, I've been worrying a little bit about Erikson.
Now, I'm not implying that he would head south...
with all that entry money, but him not being here...
just makes me nervous, you know?
And I'm not usually a nervous individual.
Mae Ruth.
Mae Ruth!
Come here!
I want to do it some more.
Get in here!
Mae Ruth?
Jesus, Thor! What are you doing here?
You're supposed to be at the contest.
I ain't going to the contest. Can't go to the contest.
Well, I'm getting out of here.
Don't go. Stay here with me. Don't go to the contest.
- Thor! - Mary Tate, stay here with me.
Can't go to that contest. Stay here.
I know now what I'm doing.
Thor...
Look. Look, see?
OK, OK.
I know. I know you're unhappy.
Look, see? Look. I just want to make you happy.
Buy you things, pretty things. Make you feel good.
I can make you feel happy right now.
Look. Look, see. See?
Oh, please...
Come on. Come on.
It won't hurt you. Come on.
Just a little. Just a sniff.
Come on. Mary Tate.
It's just that I miss her so much.
I feel so bad about what happened at the party.
I'm sorry, Joe.
Really, I am.
Will you put your goddamn dumbbells down for a second?
Come on. They're all backstage.
Let's go.
Why do you come to me? Why don't you tell her?
Because I thought she was gonna be here.
Look around. She's not.
OK, everybody on stage.
Thanks a lot, Joe. That helps me. Thank you.
Listen, buddy, you had her once, and you let her go.
I got my contest to win here today.
I can't believe you. You really want to win this...
and you're giving me this "stay hungry" horseshit?
I don't know where she is.
And even if I did, I still wouldn't tell you.
Why, because you want her for yourself?
Now you're talking about something...
you don't know anything about.
Yeah, I do. You know what I think?
I think you were testing her, you bastard.
Hey, give us a break here, Blake.
You believed all along she was coming back to you.
Come on now. My boy has a job to do.
I told you a while back, you can't grow without burning.
- I don't need this shit. - Yeah, you do.
Craig, hey. Listen to me.
Check the spa. Anita told me that Mary Tate...
was going back there to pick up her stuff.
Listen, I got to get out front, all right?
Thanks. If she shows here, just tell her to wait.
OK. Listen, if you see Thor, you tell him now's the time!
Follow that guy.
Find out what's with Erikson.
Don't worry about Doug.
The finals ain't for fifteen minutes. Follow him.
Go on.
Mary?
Mary Tate?
Mary?
I've been looking all over for you.
Are you all right?
I love you, baby.
Let me go, Craig.
I'm not gonna let you go. I love you.
He let me go. He let me go.
Who let you go? What happened?
- Mary Tate! - I'm scared. We have to go.
What happened? What'd he do to you?
Blake!
Find Joe!
What did you do to her, you bastard?!
What did you do to her?!
Pissant, where are you?
Who the hell are you?
Santo! Santo!
That's enough. Break it up.
One of you is gonna pass out. Come on.
In just a moment...
the judges will announce the new Mr. Universe.
The guy named Santo. He's from Austria.
Havi-shavitz! Havi-shavitz!
Quiet!
Havi-shavitz! Fa-vight! Fa-vight!
Fight. A fight. I knew it.
- Fight? Where? - Erikson's place.
- Oh, my God! - Hey, where you going?
Dougie! Dougie! I knew it.
The son of a bitch is taking off with our prize money.
Ladies and gentlemen, the new Mr. Universe...
Joe Santo!
Hey, Santo! Santo!
Hey, fella, listen. Listen to me now.
You're causing a panic here. Now talk slow.
Ha-vi-sha-vitz. Fee-vee-vight.
Did Joe Santo come this way?
- Joe Santo? - He had posing trunks on.
Is that what you're wearing?
I thought those were his underpants.
No, no. Body builders.
He's one of them body builders.
Show the people what body builders do.
Hey, Ed, did you see where Santo went?
No.
These people want to see poses.
- Yeah! - Yeah!
We might as well.
Where's Joe?
He took the prize money.
What the hell's going on here?
Hey, leave us alone.
Attempted rape. Assault.
Enough to get him ten years.
How about taking care of the crowd, Owen?
Excuse me, officer.
What happened to this guy Erikson?
He come through the window. They just took him off.
He's in a lot worse shape than that Blake boy.
That's a shame.
You didn't happen to see no money on him, did you?
How about just moving along.
I can't believe it. You beat up on Erikson...
'cause he tries to diddle your girlfriend.
She drops the charges, he agrees to sell...
and now you're saying you won't sell us back the place?
That's right. Me and Mr. Universe...
we're going into the gym business.
That doesn't mean you boys aren't welcome back here.
Hell, we'll put you all on a program.
Help you take care of those love handles...
of yours there, Walter Jr.
Hey, now, quit it!
And that's it, huh?
Jabo, have you thought about building a skinny high-rise?
Or maybe a little fat, short, squatty one around my place.
Look, two months from now, you're gonna get tired...
of playing with all these toys.
You're gonna crawl to us to bail your ass out.
Maybe.
But for now, I like it down here.
Let me set something straight. From now on...
you do your business on the other side of town.
You listen to me, hear?
What's he doing?
Posing.
You think that's funny?
That's funny.
No, that's funny.
- Dear nephew... - You'll see.
You may not have become the Blake we anticipated...
but you are definitely Craig Blake...
an identity that no one will dare challenge.
Musclemen amok in the town your forebears built.
A formidable achievement.
Fondly, Uncle Albert.
Well, it's a sold house, William.
Dear Uncle Albert...
"Do it unsparingly," you once said...
and so I have.
I asked William if he would like to stay on...
with the new owners...
but he feels that way of life...
is as much behind him as it is for me.
He's opened a thrift shop downtown...
using the more salable objects from the house...
with which to build his trade.
Found us a spot down by the river.
- William! - Yes, sir?
We offered him a guest membership at the spa...
but he contends that massage, rays...
weight training, and the like...
would send him to an early grave.
I think in some very special way...
William's approval means more to me...
than anyone else's in the family.
Give us a hug here.
Come on down the spa sometime, William.
It seems strange to be leaving the house I was born in.
But I think we both know I left a long time ago.
I simply neglected to move out.
Squirrels abound where Mary Tate and I will be living...
so come spy on them.
And us.
Your most loving nephew, Craig.
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